


Behind Closed Doors

by OhMyLeg



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Depression, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Homophobic Language, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Rich is gay but he is scared, Sexuality Crisis, alternate universe no killer clown, and he is famous, no one dies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-20
Updated: 2019-11-22
Packaged: 2020-10-24 11:29:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20705267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OhMyLeg/pseuds/OhMyLeg
Summary: Richie is gay, but grew up in such a homophobic environment that he can't accept it from himself, even after twenty years, so he pretends not to be, until a scandal happens and Eddie comes back to his life.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first lenguage.  
Flashbacks are in italic

Richie felt like he was about to throw up.

He was already used to gossip and news about him on the internet, he was used to being commented on, but not like that, not about something so personal.

Richie had woken up to the annoying rays of sunlight as they insisted on going in through the curtains and hitting him in the face, making him toss and turn, noticing the aches in his body from the bad position in which he had slept.

He had a hangover just like most of his mornings, nothing different, until his agent called and broke the bad news. After a long moment of silence in which Richie felt like all his organs had stopped working, he simply hung up and sat down, trying not to panic and failing miserably.

All sorts of gossip sites seemed to talk about him at the moment, about how he was seen leaving the bar with another man the night before, and how the witnesses said they looked _strange_, and how the guy he went out with had contacted websites himself to talk about it and narrate the night they had. Richie didn't even remember his name.

He rubbed his face, his leg trembled nonstop, and anxiety made him extremely restless even though he knew there was nothing he could do. He felt like screaming.

_"I'm your fan, you know that?" The man had said when they parted while taking off their clothes. Richie was sure the guy had told him his name, but he didn't care enough to remember it and he was already a little drunk. The man pushed the comedian on the bed and sat on his hip, making circular motions that made him growl "I never imagined that this would happen, it's like..."_

_"Just shut up," Richie said breathlessly and the other stopped, looking offended. The pause made Richie roll his eyes. "Look, I don't care about your life story and you don't care about mine, so let's just skip the pretending part and have sex?"_

_"Are you such an asshole all the time or just when you're drunk?" He asked, but he wasn't gone yet, so Richie figured they'd have sex no matter what he said._

_"You didn't think it was going to be more than an one night thing, right? Now can we-..." The guy snorted and stood up, dressing quickly as Richie leaned on his elbows to face him. "Really?" The other didn't answer, simply stepping out the room and slamming the hotel door hard._

"Fuck," Richie said in his empty apartment. "Fuck!" he screamed.

It was unbelievable, he spent most of his life avoiding his own sexuality and now wasn't a good time to face it, just as it wasn't a good time twenty years ago and won't be a good time twenty years later.

Richie had not cried since he was fourteen, but the situation almost made him tear up. His phone was ringing nonstop, all the calls answered by the answering machine, but he didn't care, since most of the calls were from his team wanting explanations or reparations on his part, they wanted him to clear his image somehow...

Only he couldn't even get uo. All he could do was worry and tremble in his bed, feeling completely useless. He would do anything not to be famous right now.

Two days later and he was still receiving calls he didn't feel like aswering. He spent the whole day buried in his own personal despair, listening to the messages on his answering machine and getting more and more depressed. Until he heard a familiar voice.

"Richie? I don't know if you're listening to this or seeing the news, but..."

"Beverly?" He answered, he couldn't believe it, he hadn't seen her in years, her and the rest of the losers.

"Hi! Are you alright? I don't know if what they're talking about is true, and I don't care, but I got worried about you..."

"I'm... fine," Richie said, the taste of the lie was disgusting in his mouth "It's obviously a lie, but what can I do, right?" He laughed blandly.

"Look, I can visit you if you want" She said and Richie hesitated, he really didn't want to... he doesn't even know anymore.

"No, I'm fine, don't worry," he said and she made a noise that sounded disappointed, but she didn't insist. They talked some more and he had to admit that he felt better after talking a little with Beverly, he missed her and the others. After several minutes and laughter, he hesitated again "...would you come?".

"Of course, Richie!" She said. Richie knew he could count on her and talk about anything, Bev never betrayed his confidence when they were younger. "See you tomorrow, and I'll call the others to meet up!" She spoke so excitedly that Richie didn't have the nerve to deny it, they talked a little longer before hanging up.

_Richie had called Bev to go to the park with him, for she was the only one in the group he could talk to about being... in love - that word made him gag - and not be judged for it. She obviously agreed to meet him, both because she was a good friend and because she wanted to be away from home for as long as she could. They sat for a while watching little children run and play all over the place._

_"Hi?" Beverly said, waving a hand in front of Richie's face, making him realize that he had been lost in his own thoughts._

_"Sorry," he said with a crooked smile, receiving a giggle from beverly._

_"Is this about the mysterious person?" Bev asked and Richie wanted to laugh... if she only knew. "You know you can tell me."_

_"Yeah," Richie replied with a sad smile._

_Another pause where they fell silent as they shared a cigarette. Beverly waited patiently for Richie to speak, but didn't insist, hoping he was ready and confident enough to open up about it. He liked that a lot about her._

_"It's so complicated," Richie commented and blew smoke, returning the cigarette again._

_"You like _her_?... I mean, really, Richie?" Beverly asked gravely and he turned to face her. "Aren't you thinking with your... second head?"_

_"No," he laughed at what she'd said "I think you're spending way too much time with me"._

_"Oh, haha" She said "Don't give up" Bev said with a charming smile "Show her that you like and care about her"._

_"I don't think I can do that," he said wistfully, making Beverly punch his shoulder, making him face her._

_"I won't let you put yourself down, alright?" She said "You can do it! change your looks, I don't know"._

_"What's wrong with my look?" Richie complained, feeling offended and she laughed._

_"Nothing, you fool." She punched him lightly on the shoulder again "But sometimes changing is good." Bev then ran a hand through his short red hair and he understood. She had changed her long red locks, perhaps not for the same or even good reasons, but that helped her somehow._

_They finished the cigarette in comfortable silence, sitting on the bench as they watched the couples passing by, the children playing, dogs running, and families picnicking. Richie was trying to convince himself with her words. Today was a strangely pleasant and lively day in Derry, so much so that Richie seemed to forget that the city was usually a depreessing and sometimes macabre little place._

When the doorbell rang again - he was going to ignore it, but someone was persistent - Richie shuddered, his body filling with adrenaline and nervousness, he realized that he had spent a whole day just lying in bed, drowning in his self-hatred, getting up only for a brief momento to go to the bathroom. He got up and went to the door, being attacked by hugs when he opened it.

"I'm so happy to see you," Beverly said through the hug and stepped away, Richie smiled at her "You don't look very well...".

"But I'm fine... I thought you would come over tomorrow..." He said and then noticed that there was a man standing in his doorway "Uh..." And then Bev seemed to notice where he was looking, smiling.

"It's Ben," she said and Richie took a minute to assimilate the words, and then his eyes widened as Ben approached with a slight laugh. "And 'tomorrow' is already today, idiot".

"Wow" Richie looked him up and down and then got another hug "You look great" Ben laughed again.

"You too".

"Don't be modest." Richie invited them in, closing the door behind them as they looked around his apartment.

"You haven't changed much, right?" Bev said with a giggle, "The place is beautiful, but look at the mess." She pointed at some clothes.

"Yeah, I..." He took a deep breath. "I didn't have time."

Beverly looked sad every time she looked at Richie, he had obviously not gotten up much, his beard was unshaven and he had pillow marks on his face, she suddenly grabbed his shoulders and shook him slightly.

"Look, we'll go out." She smiled.

"What?... why? where?" he asked.

"Let's go. You're going to take a shower, put on some nice clothes and we'll go out and do something," Bev said, shaking his shoulders once more for emphasis. "Come on, bathroom, now!".

Richie tried to protest, he didn't even want to get out of bed, but saying no to Beverly was hard, especially when she was so determined, so he ended up doing what she asked as she called each one of the losers and inviteed them to a restaurant - she probably wanted it to be a surprise, but Richie ended up listening to her on the way to the bathroom. He didn't comment though.

They decided to go in Ben's car, Beverly catching up with Richie, but noting that he was distracted and depressed, she decided to broach the subject.

"You know we don't care if it's true, right?" She said, but that only made Richie tense.

"It's _not_ true, Beverly," he said firmly and she took a deep breath.

"I didn't say it was, I just said I wouldn't mind..."

"You're talking like it is," he said a little too defensively.

"Calm down Richie" Ben said "She just meant we'll be your friends no matter what" Richie didn't even answer and they stayed in tense silence the rest of the way.

_Richie was very excited, it was rare for his parents to take him anywhere, so this trip had everything to be amazing. The city was big and had many things Derry didn't, he imagined living in a city like this when he grow up, but the thought of going away from his friends was something that made him extremely discouraged._

_They were visiting tourist sites and Richie was surprised to see how his parents were treating him, they didn't usually gave him that kind of attention at home. They usually just ignored his existence or weren't even there, but it was a good change, he felt like a normal child for once..._

_Until two men walked hand in hand beside them. Richie felt something in his stomach when he saw it, it wasn't something you saw in Derry, a terrible place it was, but in the big city was different… it made him slightly hopeful, could he…? until he heard his father scoff._

_"All sorts of things are allowed now," he commented and Richie swallowed._

_"What do you mean?"._

_"This" He pointed at the two men, they heard and walked away nervously "Faggots"._

_"They're only holding hands" Richie shrugged and his father turned to face him so quickly he felt his throat close._

_"Do you think this is right, Richard?" He asked in a dangerous tone and Richie shook his head, "These kind of people are freaks, they should kill each other to rid us of seeing this kind of shit"._

_"Enough," his mother said absently and the matter died._

_Richie felt so much at the moment, so hopeless, so afraid, so much pain that he couldn't even smile the rest of the day, but his parents seemed to enjoy the trip._

The restaurant was fancy and crowded, but Beverly spoke to one of the waiters and he quickly directed the three of them to a nearly full table, only then did Richie realize the other losers were in the ones in the table. Stan and Mike talked about something while Bill watched and laughed lightly at the interaction, and Eddie read the menu thoroughly.

Richie already felt better just seeing this group of people he loved so much. He couldn't help but smile, and as they approached the table the losers were staring at him with huge, nostalgic smiles on their faces.

"I know I look prettier than I already looked, no need to stare" He winked, Bill and Mike laughed as Eddie rolled his eyes and Stan shook his head, as he used to do when they were kids.

"Beep-Beep, Richie," Stan said and Richie hugged him before hugging everyone else.

"I missed you so much," he commented as everyone sat back in their seats and wondered what to ask first "So, Beverly and Ben, you two are...?".

"Yeah" She showed off the engagement ring and Richie whistled, she smiled and Ben held her hand.

"And you, Richie?" Bill asked "Married?"

"No" He said "I was made for single life, no one could take it all" He said and his friend laughed "And the rest of you?".

"Married" Stan showed his own wedding ring, Mike just shook his head, Bill showed pictures of his wife and Eddie was silent, but Richie obviously noticed.

"And you, Eddie-spaghetti?" Richie got an angry look at the nickname, but he only returned with an even bigger smile.

"It's complicated, ok?" Eddie said sulkily, but Richie only arched an eyebrow "You're not going to laugh, right?".

"Of course not," Richie said, but his face made it clear that this was a lie.

"She locked me out of the house" Richie laughed, Beverly held back a laugh and Bill also laughed "Fuck off!"

"Why she did it?" Bev asked as Bill and Richie laughed nonstop.

"You called and she got a little jealous so she didn't want me to come here," Eddie said and Richie stopped laughing for a moment.

"And you came anyway?" Richie asked, remembering the little boy who never contradicted his own mother.

"Of course, you idiot" Eddie looked offended "Beverly told me it was important to you."

"Ownn, Eds" Richie put a hand in his heart before pulling Eddie reluctantly into a hug that made the rest of the losers laugh. "You can stay at my place, Eddie, then you take some pictures in the whirlpool and text her, 'look what you're missing, bitch'" That got more laughter from the table as Eddie grunted.

He was glad no one tried to talk about the news - Bill tried, but he saw Bev shushing him - and they all seemed to get the sign. He knew they wanted to know, but he also knew they would act different and he wasn't ready to be hated by them.

They made Richie forget how depressed he was and the worst part was when they had to leave. Richie offered to stay in his apartment, as it was spacious and the last thing he wanted at the moment was to be alone being consumed by bad memories, but they all went home, except Eds, who really got locked out - he tried call his wife, but if the screaming on the other end was anything to go by, he wouldn't be coming home tonight.

Richie was fine, it wouldn't be weird. So what if he had a crush on Eddie? He got over it. Totally over.


	2. Chapter 2

"Welcome to the paradise!" Richie said as he unlocked his apartment door and walked in, Eddie close behind, still trying to call his wife since leaving the restaurant - unsuccessfully, the woman didn't seem willing to talk to him. Stan had given them a lift, but refused to come in because Patty was already worried... pity, because Richie missed his conversations with Stan "Mi casa es su casa, or some shit like that."

He wished he had spent more time with everyone, but they couldn't stay the rest of the night because of him, they had serious jobs and needed to get back to their own business, he couldn't force them to stay. Richie was kind of selfish to think that, but he was glad Eddie was there - not that it was his friend's choice, but still, it was better to have company.

Richie tossed his keys anywhere, took off his jacket and tossed it on the couch and sat down, pouring himself the whiskey he left on the coffee table, the drink burning in his throat before finally turning to Eddie and seeing him watching the apartment with a mixture of amazement, disgust and confusion. The comedian couldn't help but laugh at his friend's face, which made Eddie look at him as if he had a contagious disease.

"What is your problem?" Eddie asked, finally getting out of his trance, approaching a huge pile of clothes and pointing - he didn't dare touch "What the fuck is that? You don't have the least amount of hygiene?!" He paced the room a little further, Richie followed him with his gaze, and realized the exact moment Eds saw his kitchen wastebasket. "You're a bloody animal?! Really!"

"Sorry, Mommy," Richie said, making a childish voice. "Please don't hit me, I'll be a good boy!" He laughed at Eds's angry face.

"You should be ashamed to live in this filth! Unbelievable!" Eddie kept complaining, but Richie could only feel nostalgic, it was a really good feeling. Richie never got along very well with the silence, which was prevalent in his expensive apartment "And can you stop drinking? I'd rather sleep on the street if you end up throwing up, really!" He said and Richie laughed again, raising his hands in surrender.

"Yes, sir," Richie said and stood, guiding Eddie into the guest room as he complained that he would not sleep on anything that was infested with mites.

The guest room was dusty - _mites_! - and Eddie refused to sleep there, which made Richie offer him his own room. Eddie eventually forced him to help him clean the entire room, and they ended up spending most of the night just cleaning and tidying up while Eddie complained about the mess and Richie complained about Eddie. Only then did Eds decided the place was acceptable enough to sleep in and Richie loaned him some clothes he hardly ever wore - and he noticed that his friend sniffed them to make sure they were clean before going to take a shower.

He left Eds to take care of himself and went back to the living room, taking his abandoned glass of whiskey again and drinking. Richie drank until he finally fell asleep, but he didn't remember taking off his glasses before he passed out on the couch.

Richie opened his eyes with difficulty, they were heavy and he felt weak, barely able to stay conscious. He struggled to move his face and look where he was, but his vision didn't seem to cooperate. He searched for the glasses on the bedside table and only then remembered that he had ended up sleeping in the living room.

Richie sprang to his feet, feeling slightly desperate as he remembered the news about him spreading. He fixed his glasses on his face and paced, noticing his answering machine full of messages that he was too scared to hear, so he decided to skip the messages and simply call his agent.

"Rich?! Fuck, I've been trying to talk to you for the last two days, but you just disappeared!" He spoke desperately and Richie rubbed his temples, already feeling migraine "Look, ignore everything I said in the messages, okay? It was in the heat of the moment! A lot of contractors were wanting to cancel your shows, but I talked to them. You have a show tonight and I want you to stop these rumors!".

"How-..."

"I don't care if you're a fag, but you can't throw money in the trash like that!"

"I'm not!" He screamed so aggressively that there was an awkward silence.

"Tell them a joke about how women turn you on, I don't care, work it out." He spoke after a long pause and hung up before Richie could say anything else.

"Fuck".

Richie stood for a few minutes wondering what the hell he was going to do with his life, and then realized that Eddie must still be asleep, what host would he be if he didn't wake him up for breakfast? the comedian strode to the door, looking around the room to see that Eds was lying on Richie's huge bed, visibly asleep.

He was ready to throw him a pillow to wake him up but...

He looked peaceful, you couldn't even guess Eddie was a talking machine when he was awake. His normally worried features were relaxed, making him look younger, his usually straight hair was ruffled on the pillow, not to mention the fact that he looked very cute in a flowered Richie T-shirt.

Rich shook his head to try to push away the sudden thought, feeling in crisis with himself. He left the room.

_"This is going to be awesome," Richie said as he put the movie on. All the losers were at his house for the night, since Richie's parents wouldn't be there to complain at all. They never were._

_They had taken all the pillows from the bedrooms and gathered them all in front of the TV to be comfortable if they fell asleep right there - which Richie doubted, after all, the movie was Nightmare on Elm Street. Bill and Stan made popcorn, and everyone were already seated. Beverly, Stan, and Bill were sharing one portion of popcorn while Eddie, Ben, and Mike were sharing the other._

_Richie approached where Ben and Eddie were, sitting in the middle, pushing both of them to make room for him, which drew complaints from both of them and a "sshhh!" from Stan. Richie just helped himself with the popcorn, that Eddie made a point of trying to get out of his reach as a revenge._

_After 40 minutes of movie, in a particularly scary scene, some of them were startled, and Eddie gripped his arm and the pillow so tightly that Richie was sure he would be bruised and that he would tear the pillow, but the other didn't even notice, too busy with the movie and biting his lip nervously as he watched the scene._

_Unfortunately, Richie could no longer pay attention to the movie._

_He tried, but could only notice Eddie's hand on his arm, squeezing it lightly whenever he got tense or scared. Richie looked at the others because he felt exposed for some reason, but everyone was distracted by the movie. Ben had a handful of popcorn, but he didn't dare to eat it because he didn't want to miss a scene. Bev had grabbed a pillow and Stan was almost completely behind Bill._

_Eddie was frowning and his lips were a little red from his bites. Richie asked himself if they were soft and... he looked back at the movie, feeling his face flush and his breathing accelerate, completely nervous, but could not even understand what was happening in the scenes. Everything was like a blur, except Eddie, with his huge brown eyes and freckled nose._

_When the movie ended, Richie was terrified, but Freddy Krueger had nothing to do with it._

"Richie?" Eddie called, leaving the room with a yawn. Richie had been drinking coffee and writing his own text for the show for the first time in years and turned to see Eds approaching "Thank you for letting me sleep here."

"No problemo!" Richie smiled at him "How cute, look at you wearing my clothes," Richie said, laughing at the face Eddie had made. "Really, you look even smaller."

"Oh shut up," he complained, but Richie just laughed harder.

"If you dressed like that, your wife would certainly not lock you out of the house. She'd lock you in." Richie winked and Eddie arched an eyebrow. "By the way, any news from her?"

"I... uh..." Eddie hesitated nervously and then saw the mug in Rich's hand. "Got coffee?"

"Yeah, in the coffee maker right there." Richie pointed to the kitchen and where the coffee was, and Eddie quickly walked over, filling a mug and taking a long sip before refilling and going back to the comedian. "Damn, _now_ you won't shut up for the next seven years"

"Haha" Eddie said sarcastically, and then after another pause "I haven't called her yet."

"Is she _that_ scary?" Richie asked and laughed at the look his friend had given him "I mean, she married you, so she has to be fucking nuts".

"At least I'm married," Eds answered, sipping his coffee again.

"Well, at least no one locks me out my own house and I don't even have a bedtime," Richie said and Eddie looked really offended for a moment, and the comedian ended up feeling guilty. "Sorry, I was just kidding... uh... I have a show tonight, I can get you tickets so you can take her, so you two can... talk? I don't know, since it was kind of my fault".

"You know very well that I came by choice of my own" Eddie defended himself and Richie rolled his eyes playfully. "I think she would love to, I'm sure she would rather be married to you than me."

Richie laughed embarrassingly, how _ironic_. 

"So take her, but don't blame me if you end up single" Richie laughed, Eddie seemed torn between laughing and being offended.

"Beep-Beep, Richie." Eddie said and they both ended up laughing a bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if this is bad, maybe i'll edit it later


	3. Chapter 3

"Do you want a ride home?" Richie asked, since Eddie didn't have the car.

"Uhm..." He looked hesitant, and had dressed his own clothes again, even though Richie said it was okay to return his clothes later, he insisted "Yeah, why not?"

Richie had finished writing his text, and there was still time for his show so he wasn't worried. Richie had made it clear that Eddie was welcome in his house, but Eds wanted to go home, saying that his wife must be very worried or maybe something must have happened to her since she didn't answer the phone, which made _him_ worried.

Richie couldn't help laughing as Eddie spoke very quickly about his theories of what might have happened to his wife.

Eddie arched an eyebrow at Richie's car when he saw the red beauty, Richie flashed him his most charming smile before getting into the vehicle.

"Always liked to draw attention," Eds commented and Richie snorted, putting on his seat belt before putting_ Bastards of Young_ to play, laughing at Eddie's face when he recognized the song, since Richie used to hear it when they were younger "Really?"

Richie arched an eyebrow before turning up the volume and driving, frustrating his friend. Eddie was even more frustrated when Richie decided to sing as loud as the song, not stopping even when Eds put his hand on his mouth, desperately wanting to shut him up while Rich just screamed the lyrics loudly.

"Sounds like you don't like it," Richie said, turning the volume down again, but it was still quite loud.

"It's better than that other atrocity you used to hear all the time," Eddie said and started fiddling with Richie's playlist. Richie slapped him lightly on the hand but that didn't stop him from changing the song. _Life on Mars_ started playing "Bill loved this" He commented changed again and then _Hangin' Tough_ started playing which made Eddie laugh "New kids on the block?"

"It's because of Ben," Richie said, embarrassed, before changing the song quickly, Eddie still laughing "I have a lot of songs from that time, I like to remember us."

"Oh really?" Eddie didn't seem to believe much "Which's my song?" He looked back at the playlist.

"_It's raining men_" Richie said and laughed at Eddie's face, who had turned to face him with a frown.

"Once! One damn time and you guys don't forget?! what the hell! I thought we'd agreed never to talk about it again" Eddie said it all too quickly, punching Richie's arm lightly. Eddie complained some more, but they eventually agreed to let _Heroes_ play. Damn, Richie didn't remember how much he enjoyed talking shit with Eddie and hearing his endless complaints, he felt home.

When they finally arrived at Eddie's house, Eds was relieved, because he could no longer hear Richie singing _Rock Lobster_ just to annoy him, so he quickly got out of the car, accompanied by Richie, which made Eddie hesitate and the other raise an eyebrow.

"No need to come with me" Eddie said and Richie shrugged, he didn't mind "Really, you _don't_ have to come with me" He spoke more firmly, so Richie understood that he didn't _want_ him to go so he got back in the car, even if he felt kind... strange.

"See you at the show?" He asked through the window and Eddie approached again.

"I don't know, maybe she's still angry," Eddie said and Richie snorted.

"Go alone then," he said, but Eddie just shrugged uncertainly. Richie felt upset, he didn't talk to Eddie in years and Eddie couldn't even go to his show? I mean, he may have his reasons but Richie was selfish, so Richie closed the window and turned up the music, leaving without even seeing if his friend had made it into the house.

_He saw Eddie heading toward the pharmacy and waved. Eddie hadn't been out for days, and Richie missed him, missed him a lot, but since the accident in which he had broken his arm, Mrs.K. had become even more paranoid about his well being. Richie would never forget the scolding she gave them all when she saw Eds._

_Eddie saw him and looked around, as if afraid his mother would show up, before waving back, continuing to walk until he entered the pharmacy. Richie thought about going there, but maybe that would just create more trouble for his friend, so he kept pushing his bike on his way to the arcade._

_It wasn't like he couldn't live without Eddie - though he really thought that was true - but the losers were all apart and he felt kinda lonely without Eddie's constant babbling._

_Ben was in the library all the time, where Richie refused to go. Bev and Bill didn't want to talk to him even though it was all Bill's fault. Mike was busy all the time except when he went to the library with Ben. So Richie spent most of his time with Stan, which wasn't much, since he had to study._

_Richie turned to look at the pharmacy again and he could see Greta writing something on Eddie's cast from the window. He didn't know why, but he felt upset. Well... he did know, but pretending was easier._

The applause was deafening and Richie smiled at the audience, waiting for silence so he could keep talking. It was so strange, his audience hadn't interacted like this in a long time, probably because he wrote his own content for the first time in years and it wasn't a complete shit. He could even admit that he was proud of himself.

Looking to the side of the stage, Richie saw his agent scowling, signaling to him. Richie didn't understand any of the signals he was trying to do, but he knew what he wanted: no more rumors about him on the internet and even more shows.

Richie took a deep breath and cleared his throat, some people still clapping. He looked at the audience again and saw his friends, who he had decided to invite too. Bev smiled and clapped, Ben was beside her with a smile as radiant as the girl's, Stan had a raised eyebrow, but a slight smile on his face. Unfortunately, Mike and Bill couldn't come.

Glancing around again, he didn't see Eddie. Richie felt his heart tighten a little, he didn't know if he was glad or sad that Eddie hadn't shown up. He couldn't talk about it, even in a joke, definitely couldn't, he wasn't ready at all, his hands started sweating just thinking about saying something like this in front of everyone...

Until someone shouted.

"I didn't know faggots could tell jokes!" Some people laughed and others gasped.

Suddenly all Richie felt was anger.

"That's not what your mother called me last night, I think I have some news for you, buddy, but please don't start calling me daddy" he replied, more laughter, but he dropped the microphone and stepped offstage, bumping into his agent without even realizing it, the man followed him. He could hear people muttering, but he didn't care.

"Rich? What are you doing? Get back on stage!" He said, but Richie couldn't hear him, he could only hear his own heartbeat as he tried to avoid a panic attack. "That response was great, but you can't just..."

"Where's my whiskey?" Richie simply asked, walking past his agent without answering, finally finding the assistant "Bring me whiskey." The other nodded and went after the drink.

"Rich, you have to..."

"Fuck you!" Richie shouted at the man, who was startled by the comedian's tone of voice. Richie's assistant arrived with a bottle and a glass of whiskey, which Richie drank at once.

His cell phone started to vibrate in his pocket and he took a brief look at it, and decided not to respond even after seeing that it was Beverly, because he would probably only take the anger out on her and that was something he definitely didn't want to do, so he just breathed while someone made excuses on his behalf.

_He got out of bed, the room was still a little dark because it was early, but he could no longer sleep because of the pain in his stomach. The boy grabbed his glasses from the headboard and headed for the bathroom, turning on all the lights in his path - fuck his parents and high bills - sleep still making him slightly groggy even if he couldn't sleep anymore._

_Richie looked in the bathroom mirror, pulling the bangs away from his face - which he needed to cut - and lifted his shirt to inspect what Bowers had done. Richie was pale and slightly freckled, but his pale skin darkened purple and green on his belly, and he had more bruises on various other parts of his body. Looking as he was, Richie was not surprised that he could not sleep with this discomfort._

_He tried to convince himself that he looked worse than he really was, but it hurt just to move, so he took a deep breath and opened the cabinet behind the mirror, taking any painkiller to ease the pain, not even bothering to get water. Richie took a deep breath again, trying hard not to cry._

_Henry knew._

_Richie thought Bowers had said those things in the arcade just to annoy him, but after a few days the asshole decided to beat him up, threatening to do worse if he got close to his cousin again. And Henry only got angrier when Richie decided to say in his face that he and Hockstetter were Derry's most famous gay couple._

_Yeah, it wasn't a smart move, but he couldn't just let him say that... _

_"Richie?" His father asked and opened the bathroom door suddenly, seeing the deplorable state of his son with slightly red eyes, the man seemed to hesitate for a moment "Put on your sweatshirt so your mom won't see this," he said, ponting to Richie's bruises and Richie wasn't surprised, but the next sentence still hurt. "And stop crying like a pussy, it's not a man thing."_

_He left and closed the door again. Richie looked in the mirror again and cried until his eyes turned red and puffy, but didn't let his father see him._

"Excuse me, can you give me an autograph?" Someone spoke, taking him out of his thoughts and asked, poking his shoulder and Richie was surprised to see that it was Beverly, She hugged him "Hi!"

"Hi," he answered and then Ben hugged him. "How did you get in here?"

"We paid one of the security guys, it was expensive," Bev commented with a laugh.

"The show was amazing, Richie!" Ben said excitedly "Seriously, it was great" He could tell they were worried and avoiding the subject, but he just brought the bottle to his mouth and took a long sip, the burning was a good distraction.

"Thanks," he said and gave them a fake smile, trying to calm them down. Stan appeared and smiled at him, but said nothing - he probably knew that Richie didn't really want to talk, after all, they had known each other way longer than the others.

"The show was good, Richie," he said and Richie made an exaggerated look of surprise.

"Did you hear that?" Richie asked, trying to make a joke "He said it was good, hell must be frozen." it came out more depressing than he intended.

"Very funny," he said wryly and looked at his watch. "I really enjoyed seeing you guys, but I can't stay long, I have to go get Patty." Stan stepped back a little before coming back and hugging Richie "take care, idiot" He said to his friend and Richie felt his eyes sting slightly before Stan actually said goodbye and left.

"If it makes you feel better, that asshole who screamed in the middle of the show was kicked out by the security guards," Beverly said.

"Amazing, it totally changed my life," he said sarcastically and Beverly sighed, opening her mouth to say something, but Richie cut her off, couldn't help the question "Did you see Eddie?"

"No, you invited him?" She asked and Richie gave a bland laugh. Obviously he didn't come, Richie was always the clingy one.

"He and his wife," Richie said and Bev looked like she really wanted to say something, but Richie didn't want to talk, he really didn't want to. He didn't know if he was upset or happy that Eddie hadn't seen his humiliation on stage.

"Are you okay?" She asked and Richie nodded before changing his mind and shaking his head. "Want to talk about it?" He denied it again "Alright... you drank a lot, want a ride?" He nodded, for some reason not trusting his own voice, so he simply took his own car key from his pocket and handed it to her "Alright, I'll take you home but we will talk sooner or later".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the bad english, maybe I'll edit this idk  
thanks for the comments <3


	4. Chapter 4

"One more step, Richie," Beverly warned, Richie could barely keep his eyes open, being guided completely by her.

Richie had finished the bottle of whiskey in the car while she drove - even with Bev protesting all the time - and now he could barely stand up and needed to lean on her or he'd probably fall. Ben had gone home when he realized that Bev wanted to have a serious, private conversation with Richie, but now that Richie was being practically a deadweight, Ben's help would've been really welcome.

She managed to drag him into the apartment and with great difficulty lay him on the couch. She tossed the car keys on the coffee table and stared at her friend who was grunting and rubbing his eyes. Beverly half-heartedly kicked his foot and he looked up at her with unfocused eyes before searching for another bottle around him, carelessly holding the bottle that was on the coffee table, which she decided to take from his hands before he got even more drunk.

"Hey!" He complained and tried to sit down, but had to lay back down again, feeling his head spin briefly.

"Don't you think you drank too much?" Bev asked, annoyed and Richie just grunted again "Seriously, Richie, I know you're avoiding this conversation, but you need to..."

"Leave me alone," he said, his voice slurred and tired. "I don't wanna talk, just go away and let me sleep."

"You know what? You're being an asshole, are you like that or you're worse because you're drunk?" she said as she raised her voice. Richie spent the entire time she was driving acting like a worse-than-usual asshole, and Bev had already started to get angry.

"Yeah, love, I've always been a asshole," he said and ended up laughing, making her confused. "You said the same thing as the guy I almost fucked," he laughed again. "He got pretty pissed, just like you now."

Silence. Beverly stared at him for a moment, realizing that Richie had no idea he had said that... she felt slightly guilty because she was sure he didn't want her to hear that, but he had to explain that. She looked around, somewhat unsure what to do before approaching her friend, kneeling and holding his hand.

"So it is true?" Bev asked in a soft tone. She had always had her doubts, but she preferred not to assume anything… maybe Richie was just saying nonsense, it wouldn't be unusual. Not that Beverly would act differently if the rumors were true, not at all, but she wanted to help him and couldn't do anything while he lied.

Richie being gay wouldn't be that unusual either… all this stress, this frustration he seemed to feel… made sense to her.

"What?" He asked, trying to keep his eyes open. He didn't even seem to know what they were talking about.

"Richie, are you gay?" She asked, her voice calm and careful, as if she didn't want to scare a wild animal, and the phrase seemed to shock Richie, who stared at her in confusion for a moment, feeling sober suddenly.

"No," he said, blinking his eyes as if trying to see her, he looked scared. "Why are you asking me that? I asked you to leave."

"Stop pushing us away, can't you see we're trying to help you?" Bev said, she looked worried, but at the moment Richie didn't give a damn, he just wanted silence "You know I won't care, right? not one of us would care, Richie, just talk to us".

"Go away," he said again. She took a deep breath, looked disappointed, but stood up.

"I will, Richard Tozier, but don't think I gave up on this conversation," Bev said seriously, his voice steady as she walked toward the door. She wouldn't let the subject die anytime soon, but what was the point of trying to talk to him while drunk?

He heard the front door slam shut as the girl left, he winced, his head throbbing from the noise... he was pretty sure she did it on purpose. He stared at his ceiling for a moment too long, feeling like shit and still remembering too much. He needed a drink.

_She took the whiskey with her. _Richie noticed.

Richie forced himself to get up and go to the kitchen, where he took another bottle from the cupboard and started drinking. He was no fool, he knew the headache the next day would be unbearable, but it was still better than remembering the events of today.

Throwing himself on the couch again and drinking the bottle until it emptied, he saw his own cell phone on the floor after a few minutes - probably fell out of his pocket when Bev laid him there - and picked up the object. He saw some lost calls from Eddies's number and felt a little angry, decinding to call him. He didn't even know what to say to Eddie, all he knew was that he wanted to say something to the son of a bitch. Richie was drunk and upset and now he had his friend's number, so he was going to fucking call.

The first call was ignored and Richie almost fell asleep while waiting, but he called again, and after a moment Eds answered in a sleepy, confused voice.

"Richie? It's fucking late..." Eddie said and Richie could feel he was going to start an argument - he even felt tempted to let him, - but Richie cut him off.

"You sloppy bitch" Richie said, voice slurring "I thought we were friends, Eddie, but you didn't come!" He said, he felt so fucking betrayed "I waited for you, you fucking asshole" He looked at his shoes and wondered why the hell he decided to wear them. They looked awful, Eddie would hate these shoes... and Richie wanted to drink more, but also wanted to keep talking "I know you're ashamed to be my friend. I would be ashamed too if I were you, but you are my best friend and I wanted... I don't want to lose touch with you again, but I feel like an intruder, like you don't want me in your life, all of you motherfuckers! and I... you know what, Eds? fuck you, fuck your wife and fuck your dog if you have one".

Richie then hung up and dropped the phone before bringing the bottle to his mouth, only then realizing that it was already empty. He already regretted the call, but at least now he knew Eds wouldn't want him in his life.

"Fuck," he muttered and lied back on the couch, sleeping almost instantly.

Richie had never had very high self-esteem, but he had never hated herself as much as when he opened his eyes the next morning and felt the urge to vomit rise in his stomach from the drink. His head ached as if it had been hammered all night, as well as his throat, which burned as if he'd swallowed a box of lit matchsticks, accompanied by gasoline and kerosene.

He didn't feel like getting up, even though he was absolutely sure he couldn't stay in bed all day. No, he realized after a brief glance that he was on the couch, not his fucking bed - was this becoming a habit? - but he didn't remember very well arriving at his apartment, he just remembered getting in his car with Bev and hearing her complain that he was drinking too much.

He also remembered shouting at someone in the audience... shit.

After several minutes of lying down, he gathered all the courage left in his being to get up, even with his body almost completely limp. When he got up, Richie had to lean on the couch as his head began to spin and it also made his stomach feel a strange feeling between nausea and pain.

"I have to stop drinking," he commented to himself before looking at his cell phone messages, surprised to see a message from Bev asking him to call her when he 'stopped being a little bitch anymore' in her words. He would call, but he still felt fucking fucked up at the moment, so he promised himself he would call later.

Then, as if receiving a shock, Richie remembered calling Eddie... what the hell he said, he had no idea, but he had to fix it, so he colled right away, feeling tense. What the fuck? he would definitely never drink again.

"Eddie, hi, I'm sorry about yesterday, I was drunk, forget anything I said, okay? You know I only talk shit" Richie said as soon as the other answered the phone, and then there was a pause that made Richie even more tense "I'm really sorry" More silence, until Eddie hung up on him.

_Betty was right in front of him and looked as nervous as he was, so he tried to give her a reassuring smile that probably went far from reassuring. He looked around again, but there was nothing new to look, they were in her room, boring boring room, sitting in her bed and facing each other like the two retards they were._

_Richie had found himself thinking about Eddie too much in the last few weeks and it was driving him crazy. Romantic shit. He fucking hated it. He had cried a lot just thinking about the likelihood of being… different, like the people his father hates so much, thinking about what his father would say and the disgust his friends would feel about him, so he would do everything in his power to change that._

_And that's why he he was at the Ripsom house, sitting on the girl's bed in front of her, while they both tried to build courage. Richie knew she liked him and knew it was cruel to talk to her just to test his own sexuality, but he needed to. Her parents weren't very happy when he showed up, everyone knows about his trashmouth, but they didn't really question and her mom was really kind. _

_And Betty wasn't ugly._

_She was nice. She had a nice face. He didn't know how to describe her, he really wanted to know, but... she was normal... there was nothing special about her, for example. Unlike Beverly, who was like a hurricane and yet he couldn't think of anything like that about his friend._

_Richie closed his eyes and brought his face close enough for their lips to meet, just a brush of lips before parting. When he looked at her, she had a silly smile on her face, but Richie felt nothing different, so he closed his eyes again and moved closer and kissed her more firmly, using his tongue this time._

_He felt hands gripping his cheek gently before resting on his neck, returning the kiss. Neither of them had experience, but it wasn't a bad kiss. Richie raised his own hands and grasped Eddie's waist, he tasted like... he jerked away, remembering it wasn't Eddie and tartling the girl._

_"Are you okay?" She asked. The answer was no, Richie imagined kissing Eddie... imagined Eddie's hands, Eddie's mouth, Eddie's room... he was hyperventilating and wanted to cry again, but just got up._

_"I have to go, see you later" He said, practically running away from the girl's house. When he closed his eyes and tried to remember the kiss, he still imagined kissing Eddie, not Betty._

_She wrote him a letter after this, but he never even read it. She probably hated him, but they never talked to each other again._

"Coming!" He shouted to who were knocking insistently on his door. Whoever it was, was in a hurry.

He had decided to tidy up the house to distract himself from all the shit that was going through his head - Richie Tozier tidying up, that was really bad - and Richie didn't want company, but he figured it was Beverly ready to argue with him because of his lack of calls, and knowing her, he knew that ignoring her was definitely not the best option. 

"Look, Bev, I..." He opened the door and was surprised to see that Eddie was at the door. Richie was confused and didn't know if he should say anything, but Eddie invited himself in and Richie didn't have much of a choice.

"Are you a damn retard?" Eddie practically shouted, gesturing with his hands, "What do you think you're doing calling me in the middle of the night? What the fuck did you want this morning? Myra was pissed at me!" he said it all without a break.

"So..." Richie tried to speak, but Eddie raised his hand, cutting him off again. 

"Listen here, Richie, I'm sorry I didn't go to your show, but Myra wasn't in the mood and I didn't want to piss her off again. I didn't know it was so important to you, otherwise I would have gone, but it doesn't give you the right to call me drunk in the middle of the night telling me to fuck myself or my wife or a fucking dog I don't even have!" Eddie said and Richie was impressed by his ability to speak so much without breathing "I answered you at night because I got worried! I was worried as hell! Now I have to introduce you to Myra because she thinks I have a damn lover!" He sat down and Richie kinda wanted to laugh, but knew it wasn't really the moment.

"You're done?" He asked, then couldn't help himself "You're just cute when you're angry. Like a really pissed puppy".

"Shut the fuck up" Eddie said and Richie scoffed.

"Sorry I called you, I won't do that anymore" Richie replied and stared at his friend.

"Did you know you worried me? You fucking worried me" Eddie pointed a finger at Richie's face "I had already imagined a thousand ways you could have died when I answered the phone, asshole!" He hadn't even realized he was talking loudly and Richie didn't warn, finding the situation more fun than it should have been. He always enjoyed his discussions with Eds "And what the hell was that on the show, huh? are you crazy?"

"You don't think my mom jokes are solely and exclusively for you, do you, Eds?" Richie said with a laugh "This" He pointed between the two "Is an open relationship. I swear at other moms, I'm sorry to tell you that" He said and Eddie stared at him "But your mom is still my favorite"

"Fucker," Eddie said, but couldn't help the smile on his lips. Richie considered this a victory "And don't call me Eds."

"Okay, Eds," Richie said and got an ugly look. "Look on the bright side, at least now I'll finally meet your wife... you didn't want to take her on my show, I guess I mean nothing to you"

"I already explained to you..."

"I'm kidding," Richie said with a laugh. "What got in your ass and died, Eddie? Jeez, what a tense guy."

"It is not funny! you know how fucking pissed I was when I noticed you were just drunk?" He answered and then the cell phone rang, startling them both for a moment, which made Richie laugh before being shushed by Eddie, who answered the phone and turned his back on his friend. Richie could see him tense and frowned.

Eddie would close and open his fist over and over, bite his lip, and close his eyes tightly as he talked. Was he visibly tense and even ... nervous? Richie couldn't tell, but he only remembered seeing his friend like that when he did something against his mother's will, and Richie was pretty sure his mother was dead ... until finally he hung up and Richie had to pretend that I wasn't watching him.

"Gotta go," he said and Richie wasn't surprised, Eddie walked back to the door, but Richie grabbed his arm, then regretted it, feeling a little awkward. "What?"

"Tomorrow I'll stop by your house and explain everything to Moira if you want," Richie said and Eddie arched an eyebrow.

"_Myra_" He corrected and Richie rolled his eyes.

"That's what I said".

"Okay," Eddie said after a pause and Richie didn't know what to expect, but it sure wasn't the hug he got next. Richie was so surprised he didn't return "You really worried me, dipshit" he said before punching him - this time hard - in the arm, and leaving.

Richie knew he was fucked.


	5. Chapter 5

Richie stared at the door as if facing his own death. He didn't know exactly how long he had been standing there at the Kaspbrak entrance, hesitating to knock, probably for over 30 minutes. He had even gone back to his own car about three times, seriously thinking about going home and giving up on this idea, but he remembered Eddie and gave up on giving up, going back to the door and facing it again, raising and lowering his fist, unable to decide whether to knock or not.

Richie had chosen a nice outfit, not so fancy and not too stripped down, but now he couldn't tell if it was good enough... what if he was looking more stupid than usual? It wasn't the kind of thing he used to worry about, but for some reason he couldn't help it.

He felt like when he was thirteen years old and had broken his glasses, when he was waiting for his parents to come home to be scolded. He would never forget the feeling or how much he had to hear about his glasses - as they had to find money to fix them if they wanted Richie to see anything at all. It was bad anxiety that made his stomach - even empty - turn.

Richie took a deep breath, tried to forget his own parents - thinking about them was definitely not a good idea - and knocked on the door three times.

He didn't have to wait long, he hear a argument before the door opened and he saw Eddie, who seemed surprised to see him, looking back before stepping outside and closing the door behind him - if Richie didn't know Eddie, he'd say he was doing something illegal he wanted to hide - Richie let out a breath he didn't know he was holding when the other smiled.

"Uh, a little early, huh?" Eddie said, then cleared his throat, "I wasn't expecting you."

"I like to surprise," Richie said, trying not to sound as nervous as he was, feeling better when Eddie couldn't help but smile slightly.

"Unfortunately," Eddie said and turned, opening the door again, but hesitating a bit, before turning to his friend again. "Behave, _please_."

"What do you mean, Eds?" Richie feigned exaggerated surprise "I always behave."

"Asshole," Eddie said and walked in, making room for Richie to come in as well. Richie bowed, which made Eddie roll his eyes, and finally walked in, hearing the door close behind him.

"Don't mind the mess, like I said, we weren't expecting you and it's kind of chaos here," Eddie said uncomfortably and Richie felt guilty but decided not to comment.

He looked around and the place was cozy and completely tidy, there seemed nothing out of place or even a speck of dust, which made Richie wonder where the hell the mess was. The living room was large and there were two light-colored sofas and a huge wall-mounted TV with simple but modern and beautiful decor, and there was a remarkable collection of Barry Manilow records on a shelf beside a retro record player that matched the place.

The room smelled strangely sweet. It wasn't a bad smell, but it wasn't something that suited Eds, so it was probably some scent of his wife. Eddie slapped him lightly on the shoulder before walking away and into a room - which Richie thought was the kitchen or a bedroom - leaving him alone to poke around the decorations of the house, seeing a picture of Eds's mother and wrinkling his nose.

And then Eddie came back and Richie turned to face him, then noticed that he was accompanied by a woman three times his size. She seemed to be arguing with him about something, but she smiled as soon as she laid her eyes on Richie, who smiled nervously back.

For a minute, Richie thought Sonia Kaspbrak was actually alive, then he saw the ring.

The woman looked exactly like Mrs.Kaspbrak, except for her dyed blonde hair and extremely pink lipstick. He looked back at the picture of Eddie's mother and then realized it was actually his wife - they could be sisters, he thought. Richie and Eds exchanged glances and Eddie glared at him, so Richie tried really hard not to make a joke.

"This is Myra. Myra, this is Richie, an old friend and the one who called me at night."

She looked surprised, but Richie couldn't say why. Maybe she was surprised to see Richie Tozier at her house, or maybe that Eddie was really his friend... maybe she didn't believe in Eddie at all. Richie didn't know why, but none of the options his head suggested were exactly good.

She offered her hand and Richie shook it, but she looked slightly disappointed - she probably wanted him to kiss her hand, but he _definitely_ wouldn't. She had locked Eddie out of the house and apparently she was a copy of his controlling mother, Richie instantly didn't like her.

"Nice to meet you, _Mrs.K_" Richie said and held back a laugh as Eddie's eyes widened. That's what he used to call Eddie's mother, and god, did this woman looked like her "I'm sorry you couldn't go to the show".

"Oh, Eddie I had a disagreement a few days ago and he didn't come home at night, so I was very worried" She said worriedly "I decided to take him to a hospital to see if everything was ok, because you never know, tighy? so many diseases out there..." Well... that's not what Eddie said at all.

"I thought you had lock-..."

"So Richie," Eddie interrupted him, sounding strangely nervous. "You did very well on the show, you're getting more commented than ever." Okay, he lied to him and wasn't locked out of the house... but why the hell did he lie?

"Unfortunately," Richie smiled, trying to sound sympathetic. He and Eddie exchanged glances again, but Eddie didn't seem willing to keep looking "And I wanted to apologize, Ms.K, for causing trouble and calling so late at night, but I was a little out of my mind at the moment." he winked and she giggled.

"Oh, that's fine. Oh my god, I'm being rude! Please have a seat" She said after a moment with a giggle and Richie sat down "Can I offer you something? Coffee, water... do you want to stay for lunch?"

"Got whiskey?" Richie said as a joke, but her face closed in concern.

"We don't have alcohol here. Eddie doesn't have much tolerance and he's too delicate," she said and Eddie, who still couldn't meet Richie's gaze, looked very embarrassed and about to have an asthma attack. "He can also react badly, never know".

The word delicate seemed to make Eddie very uncomfortable, and Richie cleared his throat before explaining that he was not serious about alcohol.

_Richie remembered that day well. In fact, he believed that every student in that fateful PE class - even Coach Black - remembered that day. Some might remember it as something funny, others as something to be pitied about, but Richie was angry, and if Stan wasn't by his side at that moment, gripping his arm tightly and whispering the consequences of his actions in his ear, Richie would probably have done something stupid._

_It started as a normal class, the coach was making everyone do five laps running. Richie was doing well, but he was lazy that day, so he was content to stay a little behind, watching Eddie run and greet Bill as he passed him - and Bill facing it as a challenge, running faster to reach the smaller boy. Richie snorted._

_Eddie was running fast, he noticed... with no sign of asthma or anything. He looked good, seemed to be having fun and enjoying himself in that little race against Bill... until Sonia Kaspbrak arrived._

_Everyone stopped running when they heard her screaming like crazy, some students even tripped over the distraction, and the coach was visibly confused, not knowing whether to go to help the fallen students or to talk to the extremely fat woman screaming "Edward Kaspbrak!" hysterically. He decided to go for the second option._

_Richie saw Eddie walking slowly toward his mother with slightly trembling legs and a pale face, a stark contrast to the cheerful face he had a few minutes ago. Several students also approached slowly to hear the teacher's discussion with the woman._

_Richie didn't hear the whole conversation, but the context wasn't hard to guess. She was staring at the professor with a round red face of anger, gripping Eddie's arm so hard it must hurt and she didn't even realize it._

_"...Eddie is very DELICATE, and if he runs..." She said, pointing a thick finger at the coach's face, who was trying to reason with her. They argued for a while until Eddie tried to interrupt._

_"Mom… please… I'm fine…"._

_"Be quiet, Eddie, don't interrupt me!" Sonia answered sharply and argued again with the coach as Eddie heard laughter around him, his face turning red and no doubt his eyes starting to water._

_Sonia Kaspbrak had never really liked Richie because of his dirty mouth and nasty comments, and the feeling was reciprocal - He absolutely hated her. Richie felt like approaching and screaming in her face that she was pulling her son down in an absurd way, and he only realized that he was approaching when Stan pulled him._

_As the woman pulled her son away, Richie stared until after they were out of sight, and only stopped when the coach called him back to class._

_"Bitch"._

Richie had agreed to have lunch at the Kaspbrak house after Myra's insistence. Eddie didn't seem too excited about the idea, and Richie was slightly offended until he remembered what Eddie had told him about being his best friend. He knew he shouldn't feel this way, but also knowing that Eddie didn't want him there hurt a little bit.

A cruel and hopeful part of him wanted him to be uncomfortable because of his wife and not because of him, but he thought it was very unlikely - while he also thought it very likely.

When they were sitting at the table, Myra talked a lot about her job - _old_ job, the uniforms no longer fit her, she commented with a giggle that made Richie feel sorry... he couldn't tell if he felt sorry for her or Eddie - and about Eddie himself as if she lived his life.

Richie hadn't paid much attention to what she was talking about, just seeing how they were an odd couple, until she started talking about their marriage, which made him curious.

"...And then he proposed to me!" She ended the story by leaning slightly on the table to hold hands with Eds, who smiled at her - her chair protesting all the time... Richie wondered how rude he would be if she fell and he laughed - a smile that looked more like a grimace, in Richie's opinion. Richie wanted to comment on the fact that Eddie had married her shortly after her mother's death, but decided not to.

_Riiiiight..._

"And are you married?" She asked.

"Oh, no," Richie replied, accidentally exchanging glances with Eddie and then looking away. She stared at him intensely, waiting for him to elaborate, but he simply filled his mouth with food.

"It must be hard to get a relationship after, you know..." She gestured with her hands as if he would understand what she was talking about. Eddie choked on his drink "You know what the news are saying and...".

"Myra," Eddie said seriously, staring at her. They stared at each other for a long moment and seemed to have an entire conversation just with facial expressions, and Eddie's seems to have lost the discussion, as she was about to continue talking when he got up and began to gather the plates "Can you help me, Richie?" He asked and Richie looked from his friend to his wife before taking the rest of the plates and accompanying him to the kitchen.

He didn't miss the annoyed look Eddie gave his wife, nor her look of surprise, which seemed to be something unusual.

Richie and Eddie arrived in the kitchen and they put the dishes in the sink, Eddie getting ready to start washing. Richie stared at him for a moment and then stood beside him, promptly helping him with the dishes.

"No need," Eddie said without looking at him. "I just asked for your help to get you out of there."

"And you didn't have to get me out of there," Richie replied. "I'm an adult, you know."

"Really? Doesn't look like" Eddie said sarcastically and Richie laughed, before getting serious and facing his friend. He knew Eds would be angry or upset, but he needed to say, because... Eddie was so different when his wife wasn't present.

"Do you like how she treats you?" He asked and Eddie stopped doing the dishes, looking at him confused. "Why did you... why did you do this to yourself?".

"What?".

"Myra," Richie gestured, but Eddie remained confused, so he took a deep breath. "She treats you like a child, like your mother used to treat you."

"That's ridiculous".

"'Oh, Eddie, take your medicine, let's go to the hospital, don't drink because it's bad for you and you're a good boy'" Richie said, in a surprisingly good impression of Myra... or Sonia, they even sounded the same "Come on, Eddie... you were free after she died but you pratically came back to her".

"She has nothing to do with my mother".

"Come on, Eds, do you really want me to believe you love her? that she loves you back?".

Eddie opened his mouth and closed a few times, looking offended.

"I _love_ her," he decided to say, frowning "The fuck you know about love anyway?".

"Not much, but the shit I saw there" He pointed to the dining room "Is not love, she is just replacing your abusive mother. I doubt you two have even had sex" Richie said and Eddie's cheeks started to turn red, just like when they were kids - Richie didn't know if it was embarrassment or irritation "And you know what I think? I don't think you like it, but that's what you're used to" Eddie chuckled humorlessly.

"Are you a psychologist now? because this joke actually sucks, I think you should change your career. And for your information, we did have sex," Eddie said, whispering the last part with a cringe, his breath getting heavy with nervousness. "I don't need you to tell me how to live my life!".

"But you need Myra to do it?!" Richie couldn't help saying "If your life had background music it would be Sweet Home Alabama."

"Fuck you!" Eddie said, pointing a finger at Richie's face. "You don't know a fucking thing."

"Listen, Eds-...",

"Don't call me that, asshole!" he replied, pushing at him with his finger and getting breathy enough for him to pull the air pump out of his pocket, but Richie stopped him from using it by pulling it from his hands and throwing it straight in the trash, ignoring his friend's protests.

"We both know you don't need that shit," Richie said. "It's all in your head because of your mother and her reincarnation with whom you supposedly have sex with, by the way, it's disgusting."

Richie walked away before Eddie could say anything else, as he was getting annoyed himself - He remembered when he was 14 and Eddie had finally managed to break free of Sonia Kaspbrak's control, but now everything seemed to have been in vain, for he had the same damn habits the woman had implanted in his head again.

He came out of the kitchen and Myra stared at him, surprised to see him so visibly annoyed. She tried to say something, but Richie didn't even heard her and simply grabbed his jacket and left, slamming the door shut.

On the way home, Richie had to stop the car to punch the wheel several times, feeling terrible. He had gone to Eddie's house to make up and was leaving worse than he had entered.

And he didn't feel any better when he saw several missed calls and messages from Beverly. His stomach turning because of anxiety. He felt like he had said some shit when he was drunk, but he couldn't know what and it made him more and more distressed... not even the message from his agent commenting on the various opportunities that opened up after his epic show excited him.

Shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to write this whole story by Richie's point of view, but now I also wanna add Eddie's pov too... should I?  
the flashback is a reference from the book (but obvs a little different).  
And thank you all for your comments, they make my day <333  
and sorry about the english.


	6. Chapter 6

Richie was angry.

He didn't know exactly who he was most angry with. Eddie? yes. Eddie's second mother-and-wife? for sure. Himself? abso-fucking-lutely. As a result, he got a little more violent than usual in traffic, shouting at other drivers just for the sake of shouting - and for not being able to drive and insisting on it, of course.

Arriving at his apartment, Richie saw Beverly standing with her arms crossed in front of his apartment door looking very angry and worried, he remembered why he avoided being on the girl's bad side, she was terrifying and for a moment Richie considered leaving again, but the idea vanished from his mind when she saw him and strode over.

She stopped in front of him, worry completely vanishing from her face and giving way to anger. He was a little relieved that he wasn't Ben and had to deal with her that way more often - not that she got angry easily, but when she did, he would rather be away. She looked like she wanted to punch him and hug him at the same time.

"Where the hell were you ?!" Bev practically shouted, almost rubbing her cell phone full of unanswered messages in his face "I spent the whole day calling you! I thought something had happened, you asshole!" She pushed him lightly and he had to think carefully about what to say, trying not to let his own anger out, as she didn't deserve to be his target.

"I was at Eddie's," he answered simply and she looked at him oddly - not exactly angry, though she was still visibly annoyed, but with a little more worry again, he dodged her and opened his own door, leaving it open for her, knowing she would follow him.

"What were you doing at Eddie's house?" Bev asked in a strangely calm voice for someone who wanted to rip his head off, following him through the house while he poured himself a drink, which made her raise her eyebrow.

"Long story," he said, leaning against the kitchen counter and taking a long sip of wine - the whiskey was gone, he would have to remember to buy more bottles - trying to avoid talking about it, but Beverly just sat at the dining table and faced him with a 'I'm waiting' look. "I met his wife and we had lunch." He said trying to sound casual, but his face or voice must have shown his irritation.

"What the fuck did you do this time?" She asked, frowning.

"Why do you think _I_ did something?" Richie asked, unconsciously raising his voice, genuinely offended. In his opinion, who did the something was Eddie, who married his own mother... Richie simply said the facts in his face, since no one else seemed to have the heart to say it.

"You barely entered the house and were already looking for a drink, I just assumed" she said and he opened his mouth to deny it, but that wouldn't convince himself, so he just shrugged.

"Have you met her yet?" He asked, dispensing the glass and deciding to drink from the bottle.

"No... just heard him mention her," she replied. He snorted.

"She's his fucking mother" Richie said louder than he intended, just thinking about it his blood was already boiling. "The only thing missing was that she had to call him Eddie-bear, other than that it's like Sonia Kaspbrak had come out of the grave with a blonde wig".

"What?" Beverly was genuinely confused. "What do you mean? like... what?"

"She's an almost exact copy of his mother, Bev!" Richie said exasperated, "Both in appearance and manner... and I bet my own dick that she didn't lock him out of the fucking house." He said and before Beverly could ask, he continued, leaving the girl even more confused "He probably decided to spend the night out to get a little free of her clutches, I think he didn't even noticed that he did it on purpose, I don't even know how his brain works anymore, fucked the way it is".

"Uhm..." Beverly was hesitant for a moment, he knew he was probably saying something cruel, but he was very angry "His mother was abusive and controlling... are you _sure_ his wife is like that? isn't it... just your dislike for her?".

Richie frowned, his confusion masking his anger momentarily.

"What are you saying?".

"Maybe, Richie" She spoke calmly, staring at him with an apologetic look, as if he were a wild animal that could attack her. "Maybe you just don't like her because she... is Eddie's wife."

A pause.

"Why the hell wouldn't I like her just because of this?" He asked, but his heart sped up, afraid of her answer, because he knew what she was going to say. Beverly stared at him for a moment before taking a deep breath, she looked kind of sad and fiddled with the rings on her fingers over and over, which showed she was as anxious as him.

"Can I smoke here?" She asked and Richie nodded, without caring and without patience. Bev lit a cigarette and offered him one, but he refused... he had stopped and did not intend to return, as much as he felt like it and his leg would not stop shaking anxiously "Do you know that conversation we needed to have?".

He nodded, and after another relatively long pause where her cigarette was almost gone, then she decided to rip off the band aid.

"You're gay".

Richie stared at his feet and for a moment he felt as if everything had stopped and he was wrapped in a layer of ice before his body shuddered. He opened his mouth to speak, but his voice cracked and he swallowed hard before being seized with anger again.

"Don't start, Beverly," he said seriously and she seemed surprised by his tone.

"Richie, that's not...".

"Shut up," Richie said, his body was so tense that certain muscles ached. "Get out of here.".

"Listen to me" She got up and tried to get closer, but Richie couldn't and didn't want to have this conversation, especially now.

"Leave!" He screamed and she flinched, her face a mixture of surprise and confusion, which made him feel guilty, remembering her bad past with men close, but not enough to apologize.

Beverly stared at him, but he couldn't even look her in the face. He opened his mouth to speak, but was sure that if he tried to speak again the tears would begin to fall, so he just waited for the offenses to come, feeling his heart tighten with each passing second, but was surprised when Beverly wrapped him in a tight hug, her face was on his shoulder and one of her hands on the back of his head, stroking his hair and comforting him.

Beverly sat him down and, after a long time of conversation, managed to get the bottle out of his hands.

"You'll do something about it?" She asked after a while, after they stopped talking and he stopped crying, and they were lying in his expensive couch while a movie played "About Myra?".

"The fuck would I do?" He said miserably, his head was resting in her thighs "I tried to talk to him and...".

"You didn't talk, you just made him feel bad about it... and I think he already feels bad enough because he's not stupid and... I also made bad choices once, I think I know exactly how he feels" She said, but Richie just kept saying he wouldn't risk... what if Eds never even talked to him again? wasn't worth it "What if it was me? I know all of you guys wouldn't even think about leaving me in a relationship like that".

Richie just stared at her for awhile, deep in thoughts.

"Don't tell anyone" He asked and she smiled.

_Richie was trying not to breath too hard, afraid that the slightest movement he could make would awaken Eddie, who was in front of him... extremely close. Richie could smell and feel the heat coming from the other boy, and that only made him more nervous, but not enough to try to move._

_How he ended up like this? Bill was about to move elsewhere and that had left him in a somewhat depressed mood, so the losers decided to do a surprise sleepover, which made Bill cry a little and hug each one of them for at least three full minutes before they could finally do something fun and finally fight over who would have the bed._

_Eddie kept complaining about not being able to sleep on the floor, as doctors suspected he had a carpet allergy - Richie rolled his eyes at that and, after some time simply complaining about illness and all this kind of shit, he seemed to remember that his medicines were placebos and he was fine, which calmed him a lot, but he turned red when everyone laughed._

_It turned out that Bill stayed in his bed with Stan and Georgie - who joined them after he had nightmare - while the others were spreaded out in sleeping bags and huge piles of pillows, but Richie knew from Bill's glances that he wanted Beverly to sleep in his bed with him, and he commented that to Eddie and they both made some internal jokes about the older Denbrough - they received a lot of angry looks from Bill - before Eddie finally fell asleep._

_Everyone ended up sleeping very fast, but Richie even forgot to take off his glasses after being distracted staring Eddie, mainly because the boy was moving a lot and was already occupying half of Richie's sleeping bag, Eddie's leg was on top of both of his. Richie let out a shaky breath. Richie was afraid of his own hormones.  
_

_"Eddie?" He whispered loudly just enough for Eddie to hear if he was awake… Richie nudged his face slightly, but Eddie just wrinkled his nose and turned his face a bit, opening his mouth slightly. Richie bit his lip before trying to call him again… he stared at Eds's mouth and his traitorous brain imagined the moment of Eddie's first kiss, but that thought made his stomach drop, even if he thought Eddie would feel disgusted instead of romantic when kissing._

Maybe I don't feel anything_, Richie thought,_ maybe it's just an impression, maybe I'm just so afraid that I'm putting things in my head... _Richie was so close that he could feel his friend's breath on his face and then, before he could think better of it, he pressed his lips lightly to Eddie's lips before pulling away really fast. Eddie didn't even move, still obviously asleep, but Richie was panting as if he had just run a marathon… the feeling had been completely different from when he kissed Betty, it was like electricity running through his whole body. He felt idiotic thinking like that._

_He stared at Eddie a little longer and touched his own lips in wonder, and allowed himself a silly smile._

_Richie looked up briefly and felt about to throw up when he saw Stan staring at him from Bill's bed, and the adrenaline made him jerk up, waking Eddie abruptly in the process._

_"Ouch! you fucker!" Eddie complained loudly frowning and slapping him for it, but he didn't even open his eyes._

_"Sorry" Richie replied and heard giggles from Beverly and Mike from across the room, he didn't know if he woke them or they were already awake. When Richie looked at Stan again, he was facing Bill, with his back to him... like he wasn't even awake._

_Richie laid back down - with more space now that Eddie had returned to his own space - and, though he was not very religious, he found himself praying that Stan hadn't seen it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk


	7. Chapter 7

"What the fuck are you doing here?!" Richie would have laughed at the way Eddie's eyes widened at him as he opened the door, but he held on. Eddie came out and closed the door behind him, staring at him angrily.

It had been a few days since they'd had that fight, but after talking to Bev, Richie had decided to do something instead of just getting drunk and feeling guilty all day on the couch - or behind the scenes when he had a show - and Eddie didn't answer any of his messages or phone calls... and he was kind of right about that... Bev had made it clear that she would help him whenever he asked and he was grateful for that, because he was pretty sure he would need help.

"I know you're angry..." Richie began.

"Angry? I'm furious!" He interrupted, his face turning red with irritation. "You made it very clear what you think of me and threw our friendship in the trash along with my inhaler, so yeah, I'm angry, Richard Tozier!" full name, _ouch_.

"You never mind the stupid things I say, why start now?" Richie asked with a silly smile, but Eddie just kept staring at him.

"Are you serious?" Eddie asked, crossing his arms in disbelief. "Did you really come here to make a joke? I should have guessed" the last part he said to himself rather than to Richie.

"I'm not going to apologize to you because I'm not sorry for what I said," Richie started and when Eddie turned in exasperation to enter the house, he held him by the wrist. "But you should know that I worried, and just because I don't like your wife, it doesn't mean we have to ignore each other like in elementary school. "

"You don't even know her!" Eddie argued.

"Seriously, do you want me to spend time with her? You want us to braid each other's hair while..." He bit his tongue to make sure he wouldn't make a joke about his mother "I don't care about her, you're important." Richie shrugged.

"Okay Richie, and should I pretend I don't mind when you make a terrible joke about my wife?" Eddie asked.

"Pretend I'm talking about your mom like the old days," Richie said and Eddie turned to him totally again.

"What is your problem?!".

"I dont know!" Richie shrugged again. "I'm just sorry and I'll try not to do that again, forgive me like when I destroyed your second fanny pack and hid it in your closet." Eddie looked surprised for a moment.

"That was you?" He looked genuinely surprised and Richie closed his eyes... this wasn't working.

"Now you know..."

"Unbelievable! You are unbelievable, Richie!" Eddie said, he still looked annoyed, but didn't say his full name so Richie considered it a victory, so he smiled.

"Look, Beverly isn't mad at me and she had to drive me home while I was drunk, nothing could be worse than helping me drunk," Richie said and Eddie rolled his eyes.

"Get out, Richie"

"I will, but you'll go to Bev's party, right? Otherwise I'll sleep at your door, the press shows up and everyone will know that my best friend is a heartless guy who decided not to forgive me while I was begging him... do you want me to kneel? I'll actually do it" Richie said and counted it as another victory when Eddie snorted "I think she'll still call you to talk about it, so feign surprise."

Eddie stared at him for a moment before rolling his eyes again.

"Why am I your friend, huh?" He rhetorically asked, "Get out of here before I change my mind." Eddie went inside, but before closing the door, Richie held it.

"Look, really, I was childish and I'm sorry _I hurt you_," Richie said so seriously that Eddie stared at him for a moment before nodding and closing the door.

Richie felt lighter for the first time in months... he should have talked to Bev earlier. Dialing the girl's number, he took a deep breath before she answered.

"So, Bev, you'll have to prepare a party."

_"I don't hate you, Richie," she replied, hugging him even tighter. "I would never hate you, especially because of something so natural." He shook his head, and she pulled back to hold his face and make him look at her. there were thick drops of tears on the lenses of his glasses "There's nothing wrong with you, can you hear me?"_

_He negated after a moment, but she gripped his face tighter, making him face her again._

_"Richie" Bev started and smiled sadly "You're gay and you like Eddie" she said and he couldn't help the sob "I would even dare to say you love him..."._

_Beverly stared at him, even though he tried his best not to look into her face, afraid of what he would find there, afraid of knowing exactly what she was thinking of him._

_"I could tell when we were kids, but I never thought of it that way" She kept talking "But connecting the dots now... it was so obvious... I know you care about Eddie, but I don't know if what you said about Eddie's wife is true..." She looked confident for a moment "But if it is, we have to do something"._

_He denied it again and she sighed, he didn't trust himself enough to say anything, knew nothing but hiccups would come out of his mouth at the moment, but Richie was afraid of ruining things even more with Eds._

_"What if it was me in this situation? What if it was me with Tom?" Beverly asked, "I know you wouldn't even think about leaving me in such a relationship... Eddie shouldn't be different."_

_He wasn't different, Richie wanted to say, but I don't think I could stand losing him again. He didn't say it though, since Beverly seemed to know that already._

"I can't believe you made me throw a party," Beverly said through gritted teeth, sipping her glass of champagne as she greeted people passing by. Richie fiddled with his tie again, feeling quite uncomfortable with his clothes.

"And I can't believe you made me wear a suit," Richie replied and she giggled. She was wearing a shiny dark dress, she looked beautiful, but looked as uncomfortable as him.

"Consider it a revenge," she said and he smiled.

It was a fancy party and everyone was wearing formalwear - Richie hated the fact that most of the people Beverly and Ben knew were famous and rich - Beverly had thrown this party to 'celebrate' her new collection - that was the excuse she had used - and Richie could see that she became more and more stressed each time they were asked about Tom, her abusive ex-husband. Bev was polite and had not spoken badly about the man, but Richie loved to intrude and make it clear that he was a piece of shit.

"Do you think he will come?" Richie asked after a moment, grabbing a glass of champagne as a waiter walked by with a tray but didn't dare drink, he just wanted to do something with his hands.

"I don't know," she said. "He looked hesitant when I called and..."

"Hi?" Mike said and the other two had not even seen him arrive, he gave them a huge smile before embracing each one "You look beautiful, Bev. And Richie, the show was amazing, sorry I couldn't come" he said "So where are the others?".

"Ben, Stan and Bill are talking at the table," Beverly pointed out "You can join them, Stan would love to introduce you to Patty."

"Aren't you coming?" Mike asked as he started walking toward the other losers.

"We're waiting for Eddie," Richie replied and Mike nodded with a knowing look before moving to his friends. Richie watched them exchange hugs and saw that Stan was indeed introducing Patty to him.

"Richie" Bev called and then Richie heard Eddie's familiar voice. Richie turned around with a smile and noticed that he was accompanied by the woman three times his size. She seemed to be arguing with him about something, but she smiled as soon as she laid her eyes on Richie. He was so happy to see that Eddie had appeared that he could not even be angry with his wife.

When their eyes met, Eddie still looked annoyed, but approached anyway. He wore a navy blue suit and Myra wore a slightly tight peach-colored dress. Richie and Bev exchanged glances and he raised an eyebrow as if to say 'I told you she was just like his mother'.

"Hi," Eddie greeted them, shook hands with each of them and then introduced his wife to Bev "This is Myra. Myra, this is Beverly, the hostess" Eddie said and Bev held out her hand to the woman, who stared at her up and down, not looking at all happy with what I was seeing.

"It's nice to meet you, Mrs.Kaspbrak," Beverly said with her beaming smile, which Myra grudgingly returned, barely touching the girl's hand. Bev seemed to notice, as she was uncomfortable... the silence was awkward "Uh... welcome, if you want something, you can tell me or...-".

"Beverly!" Ben called her with a smile, gesturing and she waved.

"I'll be right back, but it's so good to see you, Eddie! thank you for coming" Bev said and hugged him before heading over to Ben, who showed her something on Bill's cell phone, which made Bill groan, embarrassed. The group of friends laughed out loud as they saw who knows what on Bill's phone.

Richie waved when Bev looked at him, but when he looked back at the couple in front of him, Mrs.K looked furious, staring at Eddie as if he'd run her dog three times with the car to make sure he killed it.

"Glad you came, Eds," Richie said just to fill the silence and Eddie nodded.

"Don't call me that" He said and Richie smiled.

"Introduce me to your other friends, dear," Myra said and held his hand before they approached the cheerfully chatting group. Richie took a deep breath and drank his glass.

Time went by and Richie spent the last three hours of the party trying to talk to Eddie, but he always made an excuse or Myra decided not to leave his side... Richie thought seriously of just ignoring it but remembered what Beverly had told him, so he did his best but couldn't find himself alone with his friend.

Most of Bev and Ben's friends were already dispersing, so Richie figured the damn party was over and he barely said hello to Eddie, much less put some sense in his head.

He was on the terrace, just watching the beautiful sight without really seeing, lost in thought. Richie had already gotten rid of his blazer and tie - he wanted to take off his shoes, but Beverly glared at him when he mentioned it - so he felt slightly more comfortable than when the party started... now that he was alone and could think properly, what would he even say? just keep telling him his wife is abusive? he didn't think Eddie was that stupid, he must know... he just doesn't want to accept it... or maybe is just too brainwashed... Richie sighed.

There wasn't much noise coming from inside, just a few conversations, some goodbyes, so Richie was surprised when he heard a discussion start, making him turn curiously.

Richie frowned when he saw none other than Myra pointing a finger at Beverly's face. Beverly looked a mixture of confused and offended, the redhead exchanging glances with the other losers as if asking for help, but they all looked as surprised as her. Richie hesitated to enter, just staring at the scene for a moment.

Myra seemed to scream at Bev, her huge face was flushed with anger, but he couldn't quite understand what she was saying, but with each word she said Bev seemed more and more willing to scream back as Eddie futilely tried to pull his own wife and soothe her... and then suddenly she turned to face her husband.

_He said something?_ Richie thought.

Everyone looked surprised as Eddie said something to her, he looked annoyed as fuck and Richie decided to enter the house, his curiosity getting the best of him... he definitely wanted to hear what Eddie was saying for Myra to look at him as if he'd grown another head.

Everyone's attention seemed to turn to Richie when he came in and he regretted it, and then Myra strode out.

"I'm taking the car, take a cab, the bitch can give you the money," she shouted before slamming the door shut.

"I'm so sorry, Bev" Eddie hurried to say and she nodded.

"It's okay".

"It's," he said and his eyes met Richie's momentarily "I'm really sorry." He approached the liquor table and grabbed one for himself. Richie took the opportunity to approach his friends while Eddie got drunk - probably for the first time in years, the fight must have been ugly.

"What's up?" He asked, Mike and Stan were visibly uncomfortable, Bev still looked a little annoyed, Ben looked furious.

"Eddie's wife got jealous," Bill said, putting his hands in his pockets. Richie arched an eyebrow.

"She said some things..." Bev commented.

"_Things_?!" Ben looked incredulous. Richie whistled, exchanging glances with Bill, who threw a sad smile at Eddie.

"Eddie -..." Richie was heading toward his friend, but Beverly held him gently.

"Leave him alone," she said and then sighed, calming down. "Do you want to help us clean up?" She asked, trying to sound more cheerful, Patty volunteering, ready to try to calm the heavy vibe, Stan right next to her.

Richie didn't understand, they were filthy rich and they didn't hire housekeepers for fucks sake. _Ben prefers to keep himself humble cleaning the house ourselves_, Bev had commented one day... Ben was way too perfect, he was probably a serial killer and none of them suspected.

After long moments of tidying up the place, Richie had put his blazer back on and was looking for his tie so he could finally leave, Mike had decided to spend the night since he had drunk too much to drive. Ben had offered everyone to stay the night if they wanted, but most agreed it was time to go home.

Richie couldn't help but look at Eddie and then noticed that Beverly was trying and failing to gently take the drink out of his hands - Richie was slightly offended to know that she was kind to drunk Eds, but not to him - and he couldn't help but approach, only then hearing his friend's soft sobs.

"Oh, Eddie..." Beverly patted his back comfortingly. "Come on, I'll take you to the guest room."

"I don't want to," Eddie said, his voice shaking, probably already drunk.

"I'll take him home," Richie offered and Beverly opened her mouth to say something, but Rich interrupted her. "You already had to take care of me drunk, seriously, you're going to turn into our babysitter... I'm giving you a day off, Beverly Marsh" She smiled at him and helped Eddie get up from the chair he'd been sitting "Come on buddy" Richie tried to help and Eddie leaned completely into him... _Did I really got this drunk that night? poor Bev_, he thought.

Putting Eddie in the passenger seat of the car was kind of complicated with him leaning fully into Richie, Eddie almost fell so many times that Richie lost count. When they were both in the car, Richie buckled Eddie, who was teary-eyed. Richie felt his heart clench at the sight of his friend so miserable.

They were quiet for a long time, the only thing filling the silence was Eddie's soft sobs as he cried, until Richie finally stopped the car in front of Eddie's house and approached him to take off his seat belt, Eddie was staring at his house so intensely that Richie got a little worried, then he turned to face him.

"Hey buddy I'll help you out of the car and..." Richie started to explain but Eddie cut him off.

"I don't want to go home, Rich" He said sadly and Richie couldn't help but remember him when he was 13, when he hid at losers' headquarters and cried when he was upset... Eddie never knew Richie had ever seen him crying there several times.

"Okay," Richie said.


End file.
